Hey kids! MagnaCorp needs your help! Have you ever volunteered? Maybe you’ve helped clean up your neighborhood, or done a good deed as a Boy Scout or Brownie, or maybe you’ve served homeless people at a soup kitchen, or entertained old folks at a retirement home? Well, MagnaCorp is looking for youngsters with gumption and [...]
Welcome back to all the editors, salespeople, cleaning staff, and office managers of UF! And welcome back to you, our readers! We have all been enjoying an extended Spring Break, and are glad to be back to the grindstone with new tans, new rashes, new hopes! As editor-in-chief, I was happy to lead an office [...]
Up With Words!, our venerable dept. of American linguistic sciences, did some research into the most difficult words to define in the English language. Not surprisingly, topping the list for a third year in a row, is that impenetrable fortress of meaning, "irony." (It’s like the "Stairway To Heaven" of words.) Alanis Morrisette used it incorrectly in a [...]
I Want To Eat You, Earthling and Other Recent Cookbook Outrages
Honky, We Hardly Knew Ye
Misunderstood Headlines: “Stuttering Gene Found”
Melfy on Night Sticks: “Never Has One Man Done So Little With So Much”
Stephen King’s Wife Tells Him, “Don’t You Think It’s About Time To Give Up On This Crazy Dream?!”
Another Disastrous Dating Profile, Part IV: Who Am I? In All Probability, I Am One of The Following Personas
Bravery
Freedom
Lust
Whimsy
