Pep Wilson, political correspondent for The Letters reports from Akron, Ohio that the Strategic Institute of Child-Killers, a foundation for the psychological support and legal advocacy of those who have murdered children, have just voted unanimously on a resolution to morally condemn Vice-President Cheney and his recent criticisms of the Obama administration’s handling of [...]
1. There’s no emotional problems some fucking with strangers can’t cure. 2. Jerk-off, apply guilt, rinse, repeat. 3. There’s no I in Me. There’s no Me in You. 4. God doesn’t burden us with anything we can’t handle – except floods, falling rocks, cancer, tornadoes, hurricanes, bad sores, dictators, and random bus accidents. 5. One [...]
The Unfettered Letters Presents: Life Instructions 101 Part One: Mischief in the Social Environment How To Make People Socially Uncomfortable, Episode Un, The Camera Trick Prestidigio the Magician, misogynist par excellence, misanthrope emeritus, and sixth most famous child entertainer in Paramus, New Jersey, returns with a new offering from his social bag of tricks. He [...]
ITEM! Republicans Must Die! Dept.: The Center for A Stagnant America, a researh group sponsored in part by The Daughters of the American Revolution, just came out with a new study citing the "disturbingly high quotient of peace, love, and rainbows featured in the drawings and writings of children under 8 years old." The study, [...]
For this series, the Unfettered Borsch Belt Comedy Moment, we asked a bunch of veteran stand-up comedians from the era of the Catskills and the Poconos and of "no one puts the Jew girl in the corner" days gone by to give us some great lines about TODAY’s breaking events, not stuff that was happening [...]
A recent Quinippiac poll was released documenting the 15 things Americans least wanted to hear. The first seven were: 1. While you were fishing for croakies last night, I was singing fuckaoke with your wife. Her favorite song is by Meatloaf. 2. Hi, I’m doing an interview for Quinippiac College, can I ask you [...]
SLUTRACK’s lead singer Roundaboot tells us about their new album! Vomit is discussed.
A friend from Dover, New Hampshire tells me about an establishment he frequented recently in his hometown. Opening a month ago across the street from Lola’s All-Nude Showcase, a staple of the town for over ten years, A Real Gentlemen’s Club takes a new and radical approach to nightlife that its owners hope will give [...]
U.F. Presents: Hey America! What’s Your Secret Edition No. #8 We asked people across our nation to let Unfettered Letters in on a personal secret they’ve been keeping, something they’ve never told anyone. By telling us, they have a chance to finally reveal it to the world! You won’t believe how many cool, way-out, crazy, [...]
“Scared Still”: The New Prison Program
Zoological Files: Ape Refutes Evolution; Cites Bush
The 12 Most Embarassing White People of the 20th and 21st Centuries Countdown
Honky, We Hardly Knew Ye
Misunderstood Headlines: “Stuttering Gene Found”
Melfy on Night Sticks: “Never Has One Man Done So Little With So Much”
Bravery
Freedom
Lust
Whimsy
