Author Archive
Stories written by The Unfettered Editorial Staff

“Scared Still”: The New Prison Program

Scared-Straight

Many of you from a certain generation remember the PBS television program “Scared Straight,” which aired in the late 70s and early 80s, in which juvenile deliquents headed in the wrong direction were brought into prisons to meet the inmates, and hopefully were made so terrified by the experience they considered changing their ways. Many [...]

Zoological Files: Ape Refutes Evolution; Cites Bush

ape

Visitors to the Stone Park Zoo in Sleepy Burg, Michigan are always delighted by Lulu, the wonder gorilla who is known the world over. Lulu gained fame as the one of the most intelligent, and certainly one of the most communicative, primates ever. She has been featured in countless magazine articles, zoological and linguistic journals, [...]

The 12 Most Embarassing White People of the 20th and 21st Centuries Countdown

CarryNation

12. Richard Dawson from the old Family Feud.  So you bring your 16 year old daughter on to play the Fued, have some wholesome family fun, maybe take a few bucks and a new microwave home, and suddenly the sleaziest guy this side of Chuck Barris is whispering “helllloooo….darlin’” and licking her like a Doberman [...]

Honky, We Hardly Knew Ye

Jeffersons_Honky

Given all the press that the word "nigger" has been receiving lately, what with books about it and white comedians blurting it out uncontrollably, we at Unfettered Letters thought it a good time to look more closely at the history of another racially charged word: the much beloved and lamented "honky." Popularized in the 1970s [...]

Misunderstood Headlines: “Stuttering Gene Found”

Stuttering Gene in the dark days as Bobby Dazzler.

The front page news was particularly exciting for aficionados of 70s television this morning, as they no doubt read the headline “Journal of American Medicine Association Announces Stuttering Gene Found” in the early edition with relief and gratitude. Not as well known to today’s generation, Stuttering Gene was a beloved household name for a brief [...]

Melfy on Night Sticks: “Never Has One Man Done So Little With So Much”

Emperor Has No Clothes Logo New Version

Hi, Assistant Editor Simon (“The Saint”) here.  Melfy Nazrahad, of our column “Melfy and Me,” my nemesis in film criticism, the dark angel himself, my strange pen-pal going way back, has just weighed in on the short film “Night Sticks” which debuted here recently on The Unfettered Letters, as our first original production.  Melfy prefers [...]

Stephen King’s Wife Tells Him, “Don’t You Think It’s About Time To Give Up On This Crazy Dream?!”

shining_stephenking

Tabitha King, the famous author’s wife, issues a statement to Book Sellers of America Assoc. that "selling more than Shakespeare but less than the Bible is just not enough."  More on this soon…

Another Unfortunate Online Chat

450px-Maes_Old_Woman_Dozing

An hot ‘n’ heavy online chat takes an unexpected turn. Roald Dahl and Guy De Maupassant are so freakin’ jealous.

Academy Avowal: "Refrigerator Poetry Helpful For ‘Creatively Challenged’"

magnetic_poetry1_by_cassandra_tiensivu

The Poetry and Literary Arts Division of Unfettered Letters (which recently moved out of the broom closet into an office with windows – congratulations, guys!) reports that the prestigious Academy of American Poets is weighing in on the enduring value of refrigerator poetry. "It really serves an important function for a certain segment of society," [...]

My Strange Correspondence with Mr. Nazrahad Chapter The First

Melfy Nazrahad

This is Simon, assistant editor here at The Letters, and today I am inducting a new column for UF by recounting a very old, and very unusual, and very wonderful tale.  To bring you up to date with events as they stand thus far: In late 2004, I had a movie review of the cult [...]

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