Melfy on Night Sticks: “Never Has One Man Done So Little With So Much”

Hi, Assistant Editor Simon Augustine ("The Saint") here.  Melfy Nazrahad, of our column "Melfy and Me," my nemesis in film criticism, the dark angel himself, my strange pen-pal going way back, has just weighed in on the short film "Night Sticks" which debuted here recently on The Unfettered Letters, as our first original production.  Melfy prefers to call it nite-STINKS, which may give you some idea of where his review (which I commissioned him personally to deliver to UF, and which he graciously agreed to write) is going. 

My fear is that Melfy’s review may actually contain better laughs than the film itself.  It is brilliant and biting as usual.  Night Sticks is an 8 minute avant-garde collage about the liberative forces of laughter and sexuality, based on the work of counterculture Socialist filmmaker Dusan Mukajevev, the writings of psychologist Wilhelm Reich, and the boobs of Adrienne Barbeau.  Or as Melfy puts it,"never has one man done so little with so much."  He also compares watching the film to seeing one of his children in mortal danger.  It’s not pretty.  He tries to half-heartedly throw me a bone at the end, but by then it is too late.  At least Melfy makes it clear that while he despises me as a filmmaker, he appreciates me as a human being.  So at least I got that going for me.  Watch the movie yourself and see whether you agree with Melfy or not.  (Also, if anyone knows Bryan Ferry, please have him get in touch with UF about copyright matters.)

Melfy writes:

avant garde? this is more like security garde. or should i be say insecurity garde?

because that’s now nite-STINKS makes me feel. insecured.

from what warped mind studio could this possibly come? is it mgm? is it United states of artists? no how. this monster has come from the tokyo that is simon the siant aka godzila augustine (not burroughs, but running with scissors was one boring film).

speaking of boring films, let us go back to nite-STINKS. ok. but maybe it isn’t boring. you say to yourself, why do i love to see so much buttcheeks? why do i care to hurt people eyeballs with mud (mud = bad music). what is it about me, the makers of nite-STINKS that has us going, balls t0 the walls crazy for coco puffs? (i know it’s coo coo, but screw YOO hoo!)

i have never had a worse time watching something so short accept the time i watched my short child fall in the ravine.

on the flip side, and let it be known for a fact, i like one of the creators, the saint, simon. as a personage. but overall his critic skill and his creatvie outpourings are to paraphrase gordon gecko, a little greedy. greedy for boredom.

many times i have said to the saint that he is longwinded. but does he ever listen? no! in nite-STINKS he has made the deer hunter of short films. too long. too boring. too many weird weddings. never in the hostory of short films has one man done so little with so much.

have you heard of the delete key in the editing suite? use it saint!

i don’t undestand why there so many clips of so many movies in this. why not pick one movie and just show that one? why are our brains so addled? we can’t focus. the saint is the ultimate representation of the modern youth culture. he is all flash, no substance! he is like andy warhols on crack times ten. lindsay cyrus and the joans boys couldn’t be more empty!

what a jerk!

here is what the movie should have been called and what its subname should be:
nite-STINKS! this is why young people should have to register with the authorities to make films!

but there are parts i like.

mnaz

Pretty devastating stuff.  I would ask Melfy about thumbs up or down, but I’m afraid to, for obvious reasons.  One saving grace: my friend Curt Gwynne, a professional improv comedian, Melfy, "loved" the film.  Maybe it’s just ahead of its time.

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