Hi, Assistant Editor Simon Augustine ("The Saint") here. Melfy Nazrahad, of our column "Melfy and Me," my nemesis in film criticism, the dark angel himself, my strange pen-pal going way back, has just weighed in on the short film "Night Sticks" which debuted here recently on The Unfettered Letters, as our first original production. Melfy [...]
Tabitha King, the famous author’s wife, issues a statement to Book Sellers of America Assoc. that "selling more than Shakespeare but less than the Bible is just not enough." More on this soon…
Choose ladies: A. Joey D B. Chauncy C. “Chooch” D. Rama E. Charley Buke.
ITEM! The Third Part of Our In-House Sociological Experiment Department: Continuing with a genuine dating profile from one of our gifted editors, Simon Augustine, which has stunned a litany of relationship and love experts with its incompetence, misguided aims, frightening self-revelation, and twisted concepts of romance: Also, One thing that I like to get out [...]
Editoriam de Moratorium Simon Augustine’s shameful dating profile, actually posted at various times and in various stages on the Official Internet, continued without ado from Part I: I usually like to do real classy stuff on a first date, like play a few holes of miniature golf or go to a carnival where they have [...]
The first section of an authentic and original dating profile used on real sites by one of our assistant editors, a profile which is alas not in circulation anymore, but is highly amusing and we are told usually failed majestically in its romantic aims.
An hot ‘n’ heavy online chat takes an unexpected turn. Roald Dahl and Guy De Maupassant are so freakin’ jealous.
The Poetry and Literary Arts Division of Unfettered Letters (which recently moved out of the broom closet into an office with windows – congratulations, guys!) reports that the prestigious Academy of American Poets is weighing in on the enduring value of refrigerator poetry. "It really serves an important function for a certain segment of society," [...]
This is Simon Augustine, assistant editor here at The Letters, and today I am inducting a new column for UF by recounting a very old, and very unusual, and very wonderful tale. To bring you up to date with events as they stand thus far: In late 2004, I had a movie review of the [...]
Pep Wilson, political correspondent for The Letters reports from Akron, Ohio that the Strategic Institute of Child-Killers, a foundation for the psychological support and legal advocacy of those who have murdered children, have just voted unanimously on a resolution to morally condemn Vice-President Cheney and his recent criticisms of the Obama administration’s handling of [...]
I Want To Eat You, Earthling and Other Recent Cookbook Outrages
Honky, We Hardly Knew Ye
Misunderstood Headlines: “Stuttering Gene Found”
Melfy on Night Sticks: “Never Has One Man Done So Little With So Much”
Stephen King’s Wife Tells Him, “Don’t You Think It’s About Time To Give Up On This Crazy Dream?!”
Another Disastrous Dating Profile, Part IV: Who Am I? In All Probability, I Am One of The Following Personas
Bravery
Freedom
Lust
Whimsy
