Haikus For The Extremely Spiritually Challenged

Welcome back to all the editors, salespeople, cleaning staff, and office managers of UF! And welcome back to you, our readers! We have all been enjoying an extended Spring Break, and are glad to be back to the grindstone with new tans, new rashes, new hopes! As editor-in-chief, I was happy to lead an office field-trip to Virginia Beach, where selected employees, along with a special accompanying envoy from the Virginia State Correctional Facility For Wayward Boys, got to enjoy the annual Edith Wharton Symposium and Pancake Breakfast event at the local Best Western. We learned lots of new cool Edith Wharton facts, including the fact that she was once diagnosed with Syphilis, along with gulping down some truly excellent buttermilk pancakes with our choice of blueberry or raspberry syrup. Needless to say, the juvies from Virgina State got ancy during the keynote address, so Pep Wilson took them out in back of the hotel, where they were able to burn up a couple of hours throwing rocks at squirrels. Later in the evening, we all had a grand time in the ol’ hotel room with the delinquents, some ladies of the evening, a couple of stray Rotary Club members, and Professor Anne Svenquist, Edith Wharton scholar. A good time was had by all.

But now we’re back, again delivering the best in modern humor stylings. Our first offering since coming back is special, because it grows out of a very humanitarian cause. We learned recently of an outreach program in our area developed by the Somerville Tibetan Buddhist Foundation, a group that promotes Tibetan causes and raises funds in conjunction with corporate sponsors. The monks wanted to give something back, so they started "Haikus For the Extremely Spiritually Challenged," in which they conduct poetry workshops with members of local corporate offices from downtown Boston, including hedge-fund managers, corporate sales teams, and advertising execs, among others. The monk-poets drop their begging bowls and pick up their pens, teaching the ancient and revered Haiku form to the spiritually undernourished. To refresh all you lapsed English majors, the haiku is a traditional Japanese poem that is composed of three lines, with five syllables in the first line, seven in the second, and five in the last and third. It usually employs a theme or image from the natural world, as a way of inspiring reflection. From what we heard, this past year both the monks and the corporate monkeys had a helluva time, whooped it up in the workshop rooms, and produced some great work. Here are some examples of what they came up with:

Look at those hot legs
Damn I would like to do her
Time for more cocaine.

-Ted, age 33, marketing analyst

Ah! the green of Spring
Green in the leaves, in the grass;
Green in my money.

-Lindsey, age 42, portfolio manager

Leaning down, I see it:
The sad dog, with only one leg;
Swiftly I kick it.

-Larry, age 38, consultant

The clouds are passing by;
the lotus blooms now; I saved
a grand on my taxes.

-Jean, age 28, accountant

Ice glints in the sun;
Sheets of cold wind; good thing
My Lexus has heating.

Fred, age 45, lawyer

Fred tells our staff: I liked doing haikus. They are fun. I like the monks because they are nice and help me make my work. Next week Artists for Change are coming and we get to do ashtrays out of clay, and fire them in the kiln and everything. I’m going to make one for my wife, and also see if I can make an ornament for my Lexus.

Posted by The Unfettered Editorial Staff on 12:41 pm Filed under All The Latest, Spiritually Challenged. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0. You can leave a response or trackback to this entry