Sillica: It’s The Candy Worth Taking A Risk On!

Chicken Little Killed in Freak Accident

ITEM! Beloved Tales Come To A Bad End Files. Chicken Little, the famous poultry guy who has become well known and allegorical for millions of school-age children over the years, was killed today in a freak accident by a stray remnant of Skylab, an advanced satellite that itself became famous (and notorious) when pieces of [...]

Cool Summer Programs For Teens!

The Father Strangling Community Center, in affiliation with St. Patrick’s First Church of Our Lady of the Blood-Stained Savior and Whole Sprouts! Natural Food Stores presents: Coooooooool new teen programs for Summer!   A103. (Meets in the Spiro Agnew Room.) Learn Poetry, The Anne Sexton Way! In this class, we dive into all the fun [...]

“Hey Mom, Can You Pass The Cock, Um, I Mean Turkey?” And Other Things You Don’t Want To Hear During The Holiday

1. "Hey Mom, I hid my easter eggs and Little Stewie found them for me." 2. "I’ve been rethinking this whole White Power thing." 3. "Truth or dare?  Hmmmmm.  O.K. Truth: I accidentally killed a kid in seventh grade with a rock." 4.  "Dad, I’m gay pass the mashed potatoes." 5.  "Guru Masdevi says I [...]

Mating Rituals!

Professor Fuzzbunk looks at Otters, Giraffes, and Humans in the sexual and social environment.

A Saint He Ain’t; or This Is Zen?; or Simon Says, Melfy Does, Because Teachers Say Because They Cannot Do: Melfy Nazrahad Goes To The Movies

Welcome, UF readers, to what will be installed as a regular featured column. I am proud, somewhat humbled, and kind of frightened to debut in these very pages the appearence of Melfy Nazrahad, movie reviewer par excellence. You are all familiar with Melfy from his wacky and hilarious e-mail conversations with yours truly that have [...]