Dear L. Crew Sirs

May 29, 2007

Fountainbleau West

33 Estate Road

Milton, Connecticut

Sent Certified Mail

Dear L. Crew Sirs:

I was recently perusing your Summer catalogue and unfortunately did not find anything in the way of outerwear the I would like to purchase at this time. The cargo pants on p.36 do not come in Olive; likewise, nothing in the way of a short-sleeve pinstripe struck my fancy as it has in summers past. However, in the women’s section there is a girl on p. 15 that does interest me a great deal and I would like to acquire her at this time. The auburn hair is very pleasing and cut just the right length; in addition, the hips jut out quite charmingly. She communicates that fresh-out-of-the-can "girl next to the yachting club" look which I find, dare I say it, most irresistable. Delicious. She will make a nice addition to my collection.

I understand that white slavery is frowned upon these days; however, I am the descendent of an Italian count and am devastatingly wealthy, I assure you. I am confident something can be worked out. Please keep this correspondence internal to your upper management and be discreet with it – I do not wish to get caught up in any un-toward legal matters at this time. I can arrange for shipping and handling with my people, and can make whatever accomodations you deem necessary for the transaction. In addition, I extend my greatest assurances that the purchase will be well-fed and cared for (high-protein diet, lots of "exercise"), within reasonable limits. I look forward to hearing from you.

With warm regards,

Francesco Scoochi, Esq. and Bon Vivant
 

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