Seven vintage bottlecaps, circa 1993. Various imprints, including Diet Coke and Dr. Pepper. Fine to very fine condition. One item, from the semi-rare and controversial "Northern-Massachusetts Walbaum" mintage, is sealed and comes with certificate of authenticity. "Gary Cotter and the Relic of the Ziggurat" self-published second novel by my cousin, Flip "Filopino" Augustine. One of [...]
The following is a paid advertisment for Jerry Dither’s Texas Bulb Warehouse. ALL BULBS MUST GO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!SUPER LIQUIDATION SALE!!!!!!!!!You want red bulbs?We got ‘em!You want special frosted holiday bulbs?We got ‘em!Sexy black bulbs?You bet!We’re so excited that we don’t have time for spaces between sentences! Orevenwords!!!!Want some more exclamation points?Here they are: !!!!!!!!!!!! Brighten up the [...]
May 29, 2007 Fountainbleau West 33 Estate Road Milton, Connecticut Sent Certified Mail Dear L. Crew Sirs: I was recently perusing your Summer catalogue and unfortunately did not find anything in the way of outerwear the I would like to purchase at this time. The cargo pants on p.36 do not come in Olive; likewise, nothing in [...]
Dear Simon, Pig, et. al., I have been a faithful reader of Unfettered Letters for many years, and I’m always telling people about your stuff. I especially love the classic bits like "I’ll Stand By You When You Get Cancer" and "Millionaire Mommies." Could you maybe bring back those golden nuggets, and "replay" them, so to speak? [...]
Pop "Pop" Walters, former headmaster and head grammarian and language expert here at Unfettered Letters., has instituted a new feature in which we scan the shores and sidestreets of this great country of ours to find out how Americans just like you first used swear words when they were just tiny tikes. There are some [...]
Learn all the tricks from the Unfettered Romance and Assorted Other Gropings Dept.: you’re over thirty, but it’s not all over: tips for old people and new love…
Up With Words!, our venerable dept. of American linguistic sciences, did some research into the most difficult words to define in the English language. Not surprisingly, topping the list for a third year in a row, is that impenetrable fortress of meaning, "irony." (It’s like the "Stairway To Heaven" of words.) Alanis Morrisette used it incorrectly in a [...]
Missed Connections, Unfettered-Style: Prestidigio brings us the latest from the world of lonely hearts…
I Want To Eat You, Earthling and Other Recent Cookbook Outrages
Honky, We Hardly Knew Ye
Misunderstood Headlines: “Stuttering Gene Found”
Melfy on Night Sticks: “Never Has One Man Done So Little With So Much”
Stephen King’s Wife Tells Him, “Don’t You Think It’s About Time To Give Up On This Crazy Dream?!”
Another Disastrous Dating Profile, Part IV: Who Am I? In All Probability, I Am One of The Following Personas
Bravery
Freedom
Lust
Whimsy
