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The 12 Most Embarassing White People of the 20th and 21st Centuries Countdown »

12. Richard Dawson from the old Family Feud.  So you bring your 16 year old daughter on to play the Fued, have some wholesome family fun, maybe take a few…

5:53 pm / No Comment / Read More »
Jeffersons_Honky

Honky, We Hardly Knew Ye »

Given all the press that the word "nigger" has been receiving lately, what with books about it and white comedians blurting it out uncontrollably, we at Unfettered Letters thought it…

10:29 pm / No Comment / Read More »
450px-Maes_Old_Woman_Dozing

Another Unfortunate Online Chat »

An hot 'n' heavy online chat takes an unexpected turn. Roald Dahl and Guy De Maupassant are so freakin' jealous.…

5:10 pm / No Comment / Read More »
old_camera_1

Life Instructions 101: How To Make People Socially Uncomfortable, Episode 1 »

The Unfettered Letters Presents: Life Instructions 101 Part One: Mischief in the Social Environment How To Make People Socially Uncomfortable, Episode Un, The Camera Trick Prestidigio the Magician, misogynist par…

5:10 pm / No Comment / Read More »
Turpin4b

Borsch Belt Comedy Moment: “The economy is so bad…” »

For this series, the Unfettered Borsch Belt Comedy Moment, we asked a bunch of veteran stand-up comedians from the era of the Catskills and the Poconos and of "no one…

4:50 pm / No Comment / Read More »
090327_bigbang

“I Was Singing Fuckaoke With Your Wife Last Night” and Other Things You Really Don’t Want To Hear »

A recent Quinippiac poll was released documenting the 15 things Americans least wanted to hear.   The first seven were: 1.  While you were fishing for croakies last night, I…

2:20 pm / No Comment / Read More »
Slutrack

SLUTRACK’s New Album Gets 4 Needles From RetroRag Magazine »

SLUTRACK's lead singer Roundaboot tells us about their new album! Vomit is discussed.…

11:46 pm / No Comment / Read More »
The Midnight Writer Ventures Toward The Edge!

Is It Illegal Or Not To…? »

In which we test the legal boundaries with mischief in the US.…

10:19 pm / No Comment / Read More »
LeMannequin_pageIII

A Real Gentlemen’s Club »

A friend from Dover, New Hampshire tells me about an establishment he frequented recently in his hometown. Opening a month ago across the street from Lola’s All-Nude Showcase, a staple…

12:21 am / No Comment / Read More »
Sheep

MagnaCorp Calls For Kid-Help! »

Hey kids! MagnaCorp needs your help! Have you ever volunteered? Maybe you’ve helped clean up your neighborhood, or done a good deed as a Boy Scout or Brownie, or maybe…

11:00 pm / No Comment / Read More »
COMIC-classics-illustrated-moby-dick

Don’t Come Back To The Five and Dime, Moby Dick, Moby Dick… »

Zoological theories concerning bees, whales, a kid named Randy, and bucketfuls of cum.…

1:17 pm / No Comment / Read More »
10-15-1

Chicken Little Killed in Freak Accident »

ITEM! Beloved Tales Come To A Bad End Files. Chicken Little, the famous poultry guy who has become well known and allegorical for millions of school-age children over the years,…

4:29 pm / No Comment / Read More »

Also From Unfettered Letters Young Adult Series:

Christmas Letters: An Unfettered Letters Special Edition

Norman Fudman Has Arrived!

Norman Fudman Cover
Humor That Undresses You - Final
Mr Fielding Final
.Staff Getaway 2008.

Key To Picture:
12 & 13. Chris and Christie. The cutest lovebirds. Going out for 3 months until Chris realized Christie was only a projection of his unconscious. And a homely projection at that. Still thinking of staying together, though.

Brad: Happy darling?
Bunny: Lick me hard, you whitebread polo-playing piece of shit.

The Unfettered Yogic Elixir. “If you want to feel refreshed and healthy, put me in you!”

The Unfettered Yogic Elixir. “If you want to feel refreshed and healthy, put me in you!”

Sassafras for sassisness, elderberry root for mischief, Spanish fly for "the sexy," Tannis root to summon the Devil Within, Lotus flower for contemplation."

Meanwhile, over at our sister-site Somebody Hit The Lights!…

Disturbing Night Version 4

The List of the 25 Freakiest Movies Of All Time.

The Presence of a Gun is the Absence of Imagination. The Presence of a Penis is the Possibility of Elation.

Upcoming from The Unfettered Library of New England Special Editions: "Put Down That Uzi, and Get Yourself A Smoothie:" Hippie Poets Weigh In On the Anti-Firearms Movement. Look for it in your finer bookstores, & at Bambergers. Plus: "In Reno Veritas," writers from "the littlest desert that could" collaborate on an anthology: big lights, big thoughts, glitter, champagne, and bubbly prose. Not to be disregarded: Our Coffee-Table Series: Hindu Saints & Hot Bitches from the 70's: A Pictorial Compendium. That self-explanatory and quite glossy volume avail. right here at UF. And: "Whitey On The Run:" Tea-drinkers, Hooded Winkers, and Mind-Raping Republicans Amok in the Republic by Slavoc Viv-Havel, Professor of Inscrutable Political Theory at Munich Univ. Plus: "The Bridge And Tunnel Crowd Crosses Over: An Anthology of Italian American Poetry 1977-2009," featuring a new poem by Joni Castiglianio: "Joey, Youse Lousy Pig I Tode You Not To Drop My Earrings (Long Island Pastorale II).....and much, much, more...

BROKEN NEWS

First, mountains and rivers; then, none; then, mountains and rivers.  See illustraion.
Night Sticks, The First Unfettered Letters Original Production Headed for March 2010

Night Sticks, The First Unfettered Letters Original Production Headed for March 2010 "Release." One-Sheet Advance Style C Teaser Poster only for UF readers.

J Crew Gag

And Stuff You Can Look Forward To…

And Stuff You Can Look Forward To…

And you can look forward to: Prestidigio the Magician's Tips and Tricks to Make People Socially Uncomfortable; Cannablism activism; Beastiality:The Unfair Taboo?; Flux News strikes out; Norman Fudman debuts; Bob C. Spooky's Holiday Dungeon; missed connections; found pets; Hey America? What's Your Secret? Ask Larry Einstein; The Unfettered Centerfold-In; A History of Humorous Periodicals; angry letters to military child murderers and war criminals; indictments of snobs, hob-nobbers, and gob-stoppers; and Lorna, the Muse Mascot.

Diogenes The Brave and The Last Honest Website

Diogenes is this terrific Greek philosopher. He eschewed riches, wandered through the streets, liked to scratch his balls in public, take dumps in inconvenient places, and was dubbed "the dog guy" by his philosopher colleagues for his subversive activities. He combined a Buddhistic approach of non-attachment to ideas and things, with the rebellion and challenge to conventional morality of a...oh, I don't know...JESUS. In any case, a real character. Why am I telling you all this? Well, Diogenes was perhaps most famous historically for his search for "The Last Honest Man," a hypothetical persona who could not be bought off by society at large, and, in short, would thus have the joo-joos to speak the truth. The Unfettered Letters aspires to be the website for which Diogenes might have sought. We are beholden to no one, and so are free to say what everyone else won't. I'm not talking about just cocks and hoo-ha's either here; the humorous truth we seek does not merely consist of engorged body appendenges (although we love those too.) I'm talkin' about violence, hypocrisy, love, tenderness, compassion, war, politics, conceptual murder, hunger, anger, Americana, the selling of the soul, New Age bullshit, the real spirituality, etc. This is shock for humanitarian purposes. So feel free to check back here for something nearest The Truth. Or just nudity.

"What's Your Secret?" "What Was Your First Swear Word?" "What Was Your First Kiss?" "Who Do You Fear?" "When Is The First Time You Killed A Small Animal?" "What Was Your First Encounter With Ennui?" "When Was The First Time You Reached Hungrily for the Mountain Range Behind A Tight Pink Sweater?" "What Was Your First Gravedigging Like?" "What Was It Like Facing A Ghost?" And more questions for Americans just like you.

The Job Done
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Spiritually Challenged Sheep

MagnaCorp Calls For Kid-Help!

Hey kids! MagnaCorp needs your help! Have you ever volunteered? Maybe you’ve helped clean up your neighborhood, or done a good deed as a Boy Scout or Brownie, or maybe you’ve served homeless people at a…

11:00 pm / Read More » basho

Haikus For The Extremely Spiritually Challenged

Welcome back to all the editors, salespeople, cleaning staff, and office managers of UF! And welcome back to you, our readers! We have all been enjoying an extended Spring Break, and are glad to be back…

12:41 pm / Read More »
Midnight Creeper The Midnight Writer Ventures Toward The Edge!

Is It Illegal Or Not To…?

In which we test the legal boundaries with mischief in the US.…

10:19 pm / Read More » Sillica-Ad-Version-I

Sillica: It’s The Candy Worth Taking A Risk On!

11:55 am / Read More »
Cinematic Revelation Emperor Has No Clothes Logo New Version

Melfy on Night Sticks: “Never Has One Man Done So Little With So Much”

Hi, Assistant Editor Simon ("The Saint") here.  Melfy Nazrahad, of our column "Melfy and Me," my nemesis in film criticism, the dark angel himself, my strange pen-pal going way back, has just weighed in on the…

7:20 pm / Read More » ChineseLaundry1881

Upcoming Emissions From Unfettered Films, Ltd.

Laundromat Boys (release date 2011) Chronicling the adventures of two teenagers working as assistants at a Chinese laundromat as their summer job. Shirts are folded, socks are lost, murder happens. Tagline: "…you won’t believe what comes…

9:33 pm / Read More »
Love Is A Wet Dog LeMannequin_pageIII

A Real Gentlemen’s Club

A friend from Dover, New Hampshire tells me about an establishment he frequented recently in his hometown. Opening a month ago across the street from Lola’s All-Nude Showcase, a staple of the town for over ten…

12:21 am / Read More » the-shining-bear-shot

Mating Rituals!

Professor Fuzzbunk looks at Otters, Giraffes, and Humans in the sexual and social environment.…

6:38 pm / Read More »
Yes. Virginia There Is A Satan and He Is Your Blankie COMIC-classics-illustrated-moby-dick

Don’t Come Back To The Five and Dime, Moby Dick, Moby Dick…

Zoological theories concerning bees, whales, a kid named Randy, and bucketfuls of cum.…

1:17 pm / Read More » 10-15-1

Chicken Little Killed in Freak Accident

ITEM! Beloved Tales Come To A Bad End Files. Chicken Little, the famous poultry guy who has become well known and allegorical for millions of school-age children over the years, was killed today in a freak…

4:29 pm / Read More »
Culturcide Jeffersons_Honky

Honky, We Hardly Knew Ye

Given all the press that the word "nigger" has been receiving lately, what with books about it and white comedians blurting it out uncontrollably, we at Unfettered Letters thought it a good time to look more…

10:29 pm / Read More » old_camera_1

Life Instructions 101: How To Make People Socially Uncomfortable, Episode 1

The Unfettered Letters Presents: Life Instructions 101 Part One: Mischief in the Social Environment How To Make People Socially Uncomfortable, Episode Un, The Camera Trick Prestidigio the Magician, misogynist par excellence, misanthrope emeritus, and sixth most…

5:10 pm / Read More »
Non De Plume Hi-Jinks rainboweye

Republican Foundation Observes Children’s Drawings Have Startlingly High Quotient of Peace, Love, and Rainbows

ITEM! Republicans Must Die! Dept.: The Center for A Stagnant America, a researh group sponsored in part by The Daughters of the American Revolution, just came out with a new study citing the "disturbingly high quotient…

9:51 pm / Read More » TheFish_Pittsburgh

Fan Letter: “I Love The Classics”

Dear Simon, Pig, et. al., I have been a faithful reader of Unfettered Letters for many years, and I’m always telling people about your stuff. I especially love the classic bits like "I’ll Stand By You When You…

7:53 pm / Read More »
Sex Hex 450px-Maes_Old_Woman_Dozing

Another Unfortunate Online Chat

An hot 'n' heavy online chat takes an unexpected turn. Roald Dahl and Guy De Maupassant are so freakin' jealous.…

5:10 pm / Read More » Turpin4b

Borsch Belt Comedy Moment: “The economy is so bad…”

For this series, the Unfettered Borsch Belt Comedy Moment, we asked a bunch of veteran stand-up comedians from the era of the Catskills and the Poconos and of "no one puts the Jew girl in the…

4:50 pm / Read More »

By Simon Augustine (Other Stuff by The Main Editor of Unfettered Letters)

Thanks to So Long, Frank Lloyd Wright Society and Mondrian Graphical Studies Institute for Generous Donation of Logo

A Catalogue of Film Criticism, Poetry, Fiction, Humor, Spirit, Activist Journalism, Whimsy. Unexclusive exclusives and open secrets.

Visit Somebody Hit The Lights! for Film Criticism Like You’ve Never Seen!

Visit Somebody Hit The Lights! for Film Criticism Like You've Never Seen!

Experimental critique, approaches to cinema ridiculous and obscene, artique, and all things movies.

Norman Fudman in If There’s A Terrorist Attack, I Won’t Be So Nervous For My Date…”

(With kind permission from Norman himself, the following is excerpted from his first Adventure in Revolution): Some teenage nervousness about the opposite sex is understandable, and even a little poignant; this is not that. This is where I feel like I'm going to throw up every minute, and all the blood goes to my ears, and then I can't hear anything because my head is pounding, and I see stars before my eyes, and I lose my balance and start to stumble into things, and then I start to shout out words for no reason, bad stuff like " Blitzkrieg" and "panties" and "tar-baby," like a Tourette's victim on a holiday bender. Sometimes when I get like this, I am so disoriented I swear I see a beatific vision of the great Jewish philosopher Maimonides, and he's trying to tell me an incredibly important principle of life: it sounds like it might be something like "of God you are an essential aspect." But, that’s the thing, I can't quite make it out – it could also be "drive carefully, so you don't get in a car-wreck" or "if you get the opportunity, try to suck a lot on Brett Hunter's neck." To keep reading about Norman, find him at Amazon.com, finer bar-mitzvahs, and of course, Bambergers.

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